The Avoidance of Thinking

Why do I think it's important to write? Why do I think it matters at all to post on this blog that has gone untouched for almost a  year? Because I'm tired of not thinking. And when you write, you're forced to think. It's unavoidable. It's necessary for progress. It's how we come to understand ourselves. Yet we avoid it by filling our time with menial tasks and time wasters always excusing us from having to pen a single word or own up to a single thought. I have found myself retreating into the labyrinth of television and useless books, always saying "I'll get to it later, when I'm not so tired or busy or lazy". It's sickening to think of all the time I've wasted staring mindlessly at a screen giving no validity or time to the thoughts I think or the feelings I feel. I'm running away from reality and the difficulty of dealing with it. Loss, loneliness, love and longing are all easier to deal with when you don't have to think about them. When you just come home on auto pilot and end your night plugged into the world, never taking a moment for a solitary thought or even a smidgen of introspection, life just gets simpler...and less meaningful.  Well I'm done. I'm tired of falsity and shallow, solitary nights. I say that now, but I'll probably end tonight just like the night before. On my computer or my phone surprised when the sun comes up and I didn't do anything I promised myself I would. But I can try. This blog post (going into cyberspace unacknowledged) is a good start at least....