I'm Caught Between Two Worlds

I'm caught between two worlds where I don't know if I'm supposed to scribble in my journal or type furiously away at my blog when I can't sleep at night. I'm caught between two worlds where my parents would disapprove of the life I'm living, but I have never been happier or more sure of my choices. I'm caught between two worlds where the people who taught me how to be compassionate no longer understand my thoughts and desires to lessen the struggles of others because they don't follow the orthodox pattern. I am caught between two worlds where I catch myself hating what my body looks like but loving to no longer obsess over what I eat and how many sit ups I do. I'm caught between two worlds where I love a man and I trust him with all that I am yet I still worry I want to marry him more than he wants to marry me. I'm caught between two worlds where I feel my "wrong" actions and thoughts and desires are an extension and improvement of my old self yet everyone says they're just young and silly and I'm sure to change once I decide to grow up and get married and finally have a child and responsibilities to tailor myself to. And I will change. I hope to. That's why I don't understand why it's bad that I'm changing now. Aren't we supposed to grow and evolve and be different rather than a copy of expectations? I guess this feeling "caught" is really just me growing up. That these feelings will just disappear the moment I turn 25 and all my neurons are in place (like my mother says) and I'll see everyone else had it right all along. Or, maybe, I'll realize that everyone has this moment where they realize their life will not be like any before it and all this dissonance  and "caughtness" will disappear. Or maybe it's just late and I can't sleep. Either way, I'm caught between two worlds. And I still feel guilty for not writing this in pen in my journal. Maybe I'm just experiencing writer's guilt for cheating on my journals with my blog. That's it. I should go scribble something in my poetry journal and maybe I'll realize my world has been around me this whole time and everyone still loves me even though I've changed. Everything feels better when it's written on paper, don't you think?