Saturday, July 23, 2011
What if...
What if I don't make it? What if I sound stupid? What if he's lying? What if he marries me? What if I can't pay for school? What if she doesn't like me? What if what if what if? That phrase gets me all the time. It feeds my fears and insecurities and my tendency to be slightly irrational. It makes me falsely hopeful and unnecessarily heartbroken. It ruins my present because I am too worried about making sure I'm spending time worrying about the future. I make sure I hash out all the "what ifs" before I even let myself become comfortable in any situation. That phrase seems to control my life and cloud my judgement when it comes to using my agency. I need to stop. So I decided to take the advice of an old friend of mine, Albus Dumbledore. He said "It does not due to dwell on dreams and forget to live". It's not that I'm going to stop planning for my future, but I'm also going to remember to live my life as it is happening. Life is right now. Stop missing out. What if I miss out on life? Go live, and you'll have nothing to fret about.
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There are just as many 'what if' s that are positive you know. What if i get this scholarship? what if they do like me? what if i guessed right on that question? what if i get into my dream college? what if i get that promotion? The what ifs can be just as positive as they are negative. its not that you need to stop looking towards the future, just look to tomorrow's sunrise instead of tomorrow's sunset. :)
ReplyDeleteVery good point :) I just think I have a problem with "what if"s because I tend to focus on what could potentially be and I get caught up in worrying about the unknown, good or bad, and forget to worry about now. But you're right, maybe I need to see the sunrises along with the sunsets.
ReplyDeleteLife is beautiful no what ifs about it. Challenges will come but you have always handles them with uncompromising faith. Just remember that.
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