Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Empty Night Sky of 9/11

I was nine years old. And my memories are scattered and imprecise. But I will try to gather them and convey the way that day changed my heart and my mind.  I remember my raspberry tea getting cold because I was too busy trying to make sense of all the yelling and smoke on the TV as my mother made phone call after phone call, randomly holding me when she would pause and stare at the TV herself. I remember not understanding why everyone was driving with their headlights on as we drove an hour to my Uncle's for a birthday party, hearing only 4th of July songs on the radio. I don't remember singing happy birthday to my cousin or what we got him for his 5th birthday. But I do remember sitting in the stairwell, eavesdropping on the adults whispering, realizing they were trying to understand what was happening as much as I was. I remember getting home that night and my dad sitting my sister and me on our swing outside, pointing to the night sky and saying "tonight will be the only night you will ever look at the stars and not see a single airplane". And even though I always hated  there were always airplanes competing with shooting stars when I was trying to make a wish, the thought of no airplanes make me sad as my tired little mind tried to go to sleep that night.

I still carry that image of the empty night sky in my mind and it my heart. It reminds me of that 9 year old girl having to grow up a little bit faster than I would have liked, but learning lessons that defined how I still see the world. I learned that scary things can happen and people are capable of doing terrible and awful things that you are rarely prepared for. But I also learned how many good people are out there. And not just the good people you read about in the news that you hope to meet someday, but your neighbors and friends who  stand next to you and and gladly hold you up when life just gets too hard. I learned more about the strength and the goodness of the American people from 9/11 than I did about evil that can exist in the world. And I remember that night sky to remind myself of that strength and unity. And every time I see a blinking airplane making its way across the beautiful night sky, I take a moment and say a little prayer of gratitude for my blessings and ask to try to see a little bit more of the good in the world, because that is where the strength of any people truly lies.

So even if you currently aren't getting along with all of your neighbors because you can't agree on Obama, the debt problem, or the Syrian conflict, next time you see an airplane, be grateful for your safety, happiness, and all of the goodness around you. And I promise you, if you can't see it....you just aren't looking in the right places.

God bless America.